बड़े दिनों के बाद - A Short Story

18^th July, 2018                                                                                                                        Bhasad Patrakar, Newsdesk

                                                                                                             

Friends! If you have been missing this bhasad patrakar and his bhasad varta, believe me! I have been missing you too. Sach mein!. I missed Randy bhai and my entire bhasad gang. Suffice to say, I was away for some vacation in the hills to escape scorching heat of Delhi and to get some fresh air. Back to my place, I unpacked as much I could and rested a bit. I then decided to go to Randy Bhai’s shop to connect with the bhasad mandali & get updated about the recent happenings of importance.

Randy Bhai -  Are aao lalla aao, kahan the itne din? Hum to soche ki tum India chhod diya. Patrakar babu!, har jagah system kamobesh aisa hi hai. System ko chalane wale to insaan hi hote hain aur insaan sab jagah ek jaisa hi hai- desh ho ya videsh.

Me – Are kaisi baat karte hain aap Randy Bhai. Aap logon ko chhod ke main kahan jaunga? Ye apnapan, aisi mohabbat aur kahan milegi bhai?

Randy Bhai – Are are! Ab sentiyao nahee. Aur batao kya loge? Ruko, kuchh jhakas khilata hoon.

Randy Bhai asked chhote to bring some jalebi with rabri. Soon, Gyani Singh and Izzat Khan too arrived. Now the quorum was there to start bhasad meeting. We greeted each other through smile only. Nobody talked as there was this lingering expectation for Randy Bhai’s order. Everybody wanted to relish this delicacy with complete focus- devouring every ounce of its sweetness and replacing all the bitterness that comes to us in pollution of body and mind.

Randy Bhai – Patrakar babu! sach puchho to hamara bhi dil karta hai ki ye dhandhe pani ka bhasad, ye duniyadari, ye mashaqqat chhod ke kahin door pahadon mein seedha, saral ‘without showoff’ wala jeevan vyateet karoon. Lekin pata nahee kaisi ankahi mazboori hai? Ye prapanch chhotata hi nahee. Koi chhipa hua dar hai, jo hamein jakde rakhta hai.

Gyani Singh – Are Randy Bhai, itne Philosophical kyun ho gaye? Sanyas mat lena Praji

Izzat Khan – Randy Bhai aapko ab shayari karni chahiye. Shayar banne ke liye pehli shart ye hai ki aap cheezon ko shiddat  se mehsoos karein - Joki aap kar rahe ho

Gyani Singh – Are Izzat Bhai, inko shayar banana hai to banao. Lekin mai to kehta hoon ki Randy Bhai jaise logon ki zaroorat politics me hai. Jaise wo hamare kavi politician Atal ji the. Politics itni manipulative and PR driven ho gyi hai. Itni fake marketing to Ad agency wale bhi nhi karte jitna aajkal political parties karti hain. Kya kehte ho Patrakar bro?

Me – Ab kya bolun yaar Gyani. Ye samajh me nahee aata ki politics ka corporatization hua hai ya corporates ka politicization. Ya fir ye hamesha se aisa hi tha bas hum log hi politics me social service and corporates me professionalism dhoondhte the.

Izzat Khan – Kahin aap wo ranking for ‘Institutes of Importance’ ki baat to nai kar rahe bhaijan?

Me – kuchh aisa hi samajh lo Izzat miyan. Yaad hai wo apne mohalle ke ‘Kammo’ & ‘Catty’ kitne intelligent the. Ek IIT Kanpur gaya tha to doosra IIT Madras. Aur in dono institutes ka naam hi nahee top 10 me. DU/JNU/Indian Statistical Institute/ TIFR/AIIMS ye sab kahin featured hi nahee ranking me.

Izzat Khan - ‘Jio’ aur ‘Jeene do’ ka koi deal chal raha shayad.

Me – Gyani ji sahee kehte hain, ideally Randy bhai jaise saaf dil wale log hi politics me chahiye. But aise log survive kahan kar pate hain? aise logon ko na to corporates me promotion milta hai, na hi politics me ticket.

Gyani Singh – Praji, ye education se bhi kya ho jata? Aajkal to most politicians and C suites sab well educated hain, to Governance me kya improvement hua? Koi Harvard ka hai to koi IIT, koi DU ka hai- lekin politics abhi bhi usi tarike ki hoti hai; Hindu-Muslim, Swadeshi-Videshi, Caste/Class/Language divide is what happens.

Izzat Khan – Achha Bhai ye batao ki agar choice hoti to kya zaruri hai ki Randy Bhai Hindu, Gyani Singh Sikh and mai ek Muslim hi banta? Are hamare ma baap jis religion ke the, humara bhi wohi religion ho gaya. Aur fir bachpan se wo festivals, rituals ye aapki zindagi ke part ban jate hain, aur fir ise chhodna mushkil ho jata hai.

Izzat Khan had said a profound thing. Many of us are quite rational and scientific but still practice our religious rituals – why? Because it gives us a thing to ‘do’ - something to indulge in away from our official occupation, and is a tool for social get together and bonding.

Randy Bhai – Bhaiyon! thand rakho. Hindustan ke nagrik hain hum. Sabko apna religion/language/culture follow karne ki poorn swatrantata hai. Fir ye religion chhodne ki baat kyu ho rahee hai? Are Durga Pooja/Holi/Baisakhi/Id/Christmas – inhi sabke bahane to shopping hoti hai, business chalte hain, bachhon ko chhutti milti aur excitement rehti hai. Bhai maza aata hai.

Gyani Singh – Randy Bhai. Aap tension na lo. Hum saree shopping aapki dukaan se karte rahe hain aur karte rahenge.

We all laughed.

Izzat Khan – Gyani bhai ki baat me dum laga mujhe. Aap hi dekho- hamare gharon me pehle jo buzurg hote the- kitni padhai ki hoti thi un logon ne. Lekin vilayat me padhe lawyer mamu/engineer abbu/doctor aunty- matlab ki poore ghar ke jitney bhi tees mar khan log the, sab unka hi faisla mante the.

Gyani Singh- Ekdum bhai, ekdum. Lekin aisa to shayad respect ki wajah se hota hoga.

Izzat Khan – Respect to tha hi Gyani bhai. But wo respect kyun tha? Ye modern education se labrez log kyun unke logic and faisle ko man lete the? Kuchh aur bhi wajah hogi.

Me – Shayad in kabil logon ko lagta hoga ki ye buzurg partiality nahee karenge. Unke dilon me poore family ki welfare hoti thi. Sabke liye mohabbat thi, concern tha. Unka ye love and compassion modern education ki fancy degrees pe bhari padta tha.

Randy Bhai – Shayad ye hi karan raha hoga ki hamare samvidhaan nirmataaon ne MP/MLA banne ke liye koi educational qualification tai nahee kiya

Me- Yes Randy Bhai. Uske liye sabse badee qualification hai- juntna se empathy, logon ke dukh dard ko mehsoos karna aur unki madad karne ke irade se govern karna.

Gyani Singh/Izzat Khan and Randy Bhai all nodded in Unison.

Dekho baton baton me ‘kya hona chahiye’ ye to clear ho gaya. Is tarah se socho to Politics ya fir duniya ka koi bhi kaam bura nahee- agar uske root me sabki bhalai aur mohabbat ka zazba ho – Gyani Singh muttered.

It was getting late. I still hadn’t fully unpacked and settled back from my sojourn to the hills and this innocuous discussion had simultaneously become heavy, insightful and inspiring.

I took leave from my ‘bhasad’ group of friends, wore my little backpack and started walking towards home. The sun was reddish, like a circular ball and appeared to be hanging low in the sky. I forgot my surrounding- the vastness of light blue sky with a round red ball of sun lay spread before me. All the problems of the world seemed to have dissolved in that silence, which had music of its own.

A Short Treatise on Tamma tamma logey tamma (तम्मा तम्मा लोगे तम्मा)

If the above title sounds as some kind of ad jingle and ‘tamma’ (तम्मा) appears to be a FMCG product - you are not alone. With such catchy tune, it is difficult to resist its appeal.

So what is tamma? Is it a promise of achhe din which shall come some(?) day? Or is it a new gadget offered in bumper discount  on those e-commerce sites ? Or is it some kind of chumma¹ which was supposed to be given on the day of previous Jummah²?

Unless we track down the creators of this great tamma tamma , it is difficult to say for sure- what is tamma? However, that shouldn’t stop us from hazarding a guess. We don’t have paucity of time really and this shall be much needed break from that WhatsApp chat group.

Prima facie tamma looks like a hard nut to crack. It needs nothing less than dialectical analysis (whatever that is) and being no Marxist scholar, I leave it to you and your leftist friends to figure that out. That takes us to economic study of tamma. Could tamma be harbinger of the next stock rally? Or it is a new name of demonizing errrrr demonetizing effort by the Govt? Tamma might be a new concept in game theory where it is eventually a zero sum game i.e. it is either your tamma or mine; both of us cann’t have our tammas at the same time.

What fun is tamma if we cann’t have it together? We, therefore, need to understand its plausible socio-political ramifications. Is it that elusive tool which could carry out social engineering and cut at the hidden roots of social inequality? We can be sure that tamma wouldn’t see light of the day and would be crushed to death by our political class. After all, what business they would’ve if tamma business gets established? Would it be revolutionary and unbelieving if tamma is the secret symbol of a political party in making which would have internal democracy before it plans to govern the democratic republic of India?

Delving deeper, is tamma logey a call to spiritual awakening? Like that maverick sage Kabir exhorted – ‘ Santo Bhai, aai gyan ki aandhi re, bhram ki tanti sabai udani, maya rahe na bandhi re(संतो भाई! आई ज्ञान की आंधी रे, भ्रम की तांती सबै उड़ानी, माया रहै न बंधी रे)’³ ; it could be possible that a realized one is singing tamma tamma logey to jolt us from the deep slumber we are immersed in:

Why do you fret –O anxious mind?

Don’t project now into future,

The future is created one moment at a time,

Just like tamma carries meanings sublime

As it seems, identifying tamma is not an easy task and the millennials don’t have enough attention span to focus any more on this tamma wamma. What we can do instead is to visualize the music of the following tamma rap. Let the most rocking of Baba sehgal, Honey or Badshah sing it. We shall meditate on the awesomeness of tamma- in whichever form it is;

Tamma tamma tamma, (तम्मा तम्मा तम्मा )

Ye kya hai gorakhdhandha, (ये क्या है गोरखधंधा)

Mere baap ka nahi, tere baap ka nahi,(मेरे बाप का नहीं, तेरे बाप का नहीं)

To kiska hai ye munda, (तो किसका है ये मुंडा)

Jahan se bhi aaya ho, jo bhi ise laya ho,(जहाँ से भी आया हो, जो भी इसे लाया हो)

Mauka sahi hai ye, dhokha nahi hai ye, (मौका सही है ये, धोखा नहीं है ये)

Offer ka ise maal samajh ke, (ऑफर का इसे माल समझ के)

1+1 ka plan samajh ke, (1+1 का प्लान समझ के)

Le lo tum bhi tamma, le lo tamma tamma! (ले लो तुम भी तम्मा, ले लो तम्मा तम्मा)

(Here is the link to the song

https://youtu.be/SK5FdvcLaY0

Put on your ear phone, raise the volume and get lost in it)

Note:

·   Chumma¹ – Kiss

·   Jummah² – Friday, when muslims offer prayer of Jummah

·   Santo bhai…³ – O fellow saints! There is gale of light and knowledge. Now, the cottage of ignorance has been dismantled gone away and temptation and attachment no longer trap me)