बड़े दिनों के बाद - A Short Story

18^th July, 2018                                                                                                                        Bhasad Patrakar, Newsdesk

                                                                                                             

Friends! If you have been missing this bhasad patrakar and his bhasad varta, believe me! I have been missing you too. Sach mein!. I missed Randy bhai and my entire bhasad gang. Suffice to say, I was away for some vacation in the hills to escape scorching heat of Delhi and to get some fresh air. Back to my place, I unpacked as much I could and rested a bit. I then decided to go to Randy Bhai’s shop to connect with the bhasad mandali & get updated about the recent happenings of importance.

Randy Bhai -  Are aao lalla aao, kahan the itne din? Hum to soche ki tum India chhod diya. Patrakar babu!, har jagah system kamobesh aisa hi hai. System ko chalane wale to insaan hi hote hain aur insaan sab jagah ek jaisa hi hai- desh ho ya videsh.

Me – Are kaisi baat karte hain aap Randy Bhai. Aap logon ko chhod ke main kahan jaunga? Ye apnapan, aisi mohabbat aur kahan milegi bhai?

Randy Bhai – Are are! Ab sentiyao nahee. Aur batao kya loge? Ruko, kuchh jhakas khilata hoon.

Randy Bhai asked chhote to bring some jalebi with rabri. Soon, Gyani Singh and Izzat Khan too arrived. Now the quorum was there to start bhasad meeting. We greeted each other through smile only. Nobody talked as there was this lingering expectation for Randy Bhai’s order. Everybody wanted to relish this delicacy with complete focus- devouring every ounce of its sweetness and replacing all the bitterness that comes to us in pollution of body and mind.

Randy Bhai – Patrakar babu! sach puchho to hamara bhi dil karta hai ki ye dhandhe pani ka bhasad, ye duniyadari, ye mashaqqat chhod ke kahin door pahadon mein seedha, saral ‘without showoff’ wala jeevan vyateet karoon. Lekin pata nahee kaisi ankahi mazboori hai? Ye prapanch chhotata hi nahee. Koi chhipa hua dar hai, jo hamein jakde rakhta hai.

Gyani Singh – Are Randy Bhai, itne Philosophical kyun ho gaye? Sanyas mat lena Praji

Izzat Khan – Randy Bhai aapko ab shayari karni chahiye. Shayar banne ke liye pehli shart ye hai ki aap cheezon ko shiddat  se mehsoos karein - Joki aap kar rahe ho

Gyani Singh – Are Izzat Bhai, inko shayar banana hai to banao. Lekin mai to kehta hoon ki Randy Bhai jaise logon ki zaroorat politics me hai. Jaise wo hamare kavi politician Atal ji the. Politics itni manipulative and PR driven ho gyi hai. Itni fake marketing to Ad agency wale bhi nhi karte jitna aajkal political parties karti hain. Kya kehte ho Patrakar bro?

Me – Ab kya bolun yaar Gyani. Ye samajh me nahee aata ki politics ka corporatization hua hai ya corporates ka politicization. Ya fir ye hamesha se aisa hi tha bas hum log hi politics me social service and corporates me professionalism dhoondhte the.

Izzat Khan – Kahin aap wo ranking for ‘Institutes of Importance’ ki baat to nai kar rahe bhaijan?

Me – kuchh aisa hi samajh lo Izzat miyan. Yaad hai wo apne mohalle ke ‘Kammo’ & ‘Catty’ kitne intelligent the. Ek IIT Kanpur gaya tha to doosra IIT Madras. Aur in dono institutes ka naam hi nahee top 10 me. DU/JNU/Indian Statistical Institute/ TIFR/AIIMS ye sab kahin featured hi nahee ranking me.

Izzat Khan - ‘Jio’ aur ‘Jeene do’ ka koi deal chal raha shayad.

Me – Gyani ji sahee kehte hain, ideally Randy bhai jaise saaf dil wale log hi politics me chahiye. But aise log survive kahan kar pate hain? aise logon ko na to corporates me promotion milta hai, na hi politics me ticket.

Gyani Singh – Praji, ye education se bhi kya ho jata? Aajkal to most politicians and C suites sab well educated hain, to Governance me kya improvement hua? Koi Harvard ka hai to koi IIT, koi DU ka hai- lekin politics abhi bhi usi tarike ki hoti hai; Hindu-Muslim, Swadeshi-Videshi, Caste/Class/Language divide is what happens.

Izzat Khan – Achha Bhai ye batao ki agar choice hoti to kya zaruri hai ki Randy Bhai Hindu, Gyani Singh Sikh and mai ek Muslim hi banta? Are hamare ma baap jis religion ke the, humara bhi wohi religion ho gaya. Aur fir bachpan se wo festivals, rituals ye aapki zindagi ke part ban jate hain, aur fir ise chhodna mushkil ho jata hai.

Izzat Khan had said a profound thing. Many of us are quite rational and scientific but still practice our religious rituals – why? Because it gives us a thing to ‘do’ - something to indulge in away from our official occupation, and is a tool for social get together and bonding.

Randy Bhai – Bhaiyon! thand rakho. Hindustan ke nagrik hain hum. Sabko apna religion/language/culture follow karne ki poorn swatrantata hai. Fir ye religion chhodne ki baat kyu ho rahee hai? Are Durga Pooja/Holi/Baisakhi/Id/Christmas – inhi sabke bahane to shopping hoti hai, business chalte hain, bachhon ko chhutti milti aur excitement rehti hai. Bhai maza aata hai.

Gyani Singh – Randy Bhai. Aap tension na lo. Hum saree shopping aapki dukaan se karte rahe hain aur karte rahenge.

We all laughed.

Izzat Khan – Gyani bhai ki baat me dum laga mujhe. Aap hi dekho- hamare gharon me pehle jo buzurg hote the- kitni padhai ki hoti thi un logon ne. Lekin vilayat me padhe lawyer mamu/engineer abbu/doctor aunty- matlab ki poore ghar ke jitney bhi tees mar khan log the, sab unka hi faisla mante the.

Gyani Singh- Ekdum bhai, ekdum. Lekin aisa to shayad respect ki wajah se hota hoga.

Izzat Khan – Respect to tha hi Gyani bhai. But wo respect kyun tha? Ye modern education se labrez log kyun unke logic and faisle ko man lete the? Kuchh aur bhi wajah hogi.

Me – Shayad in kabil logon ko lagta hoga ki ye buzurg partiality nahee karenge. Unke dilon me poore family ki welfare hoti thi. Sabke liye mohabbat thi, concern tha. Unka ye love and compassion modern education ki fancy degrees pe bhari padta tha.

Randy Bhai – Shayad ye hi karan raha hoga ki hamare samvidhaan nirmataaon ne MP/MLA banne ke liye koi educational qualification tai nahee kiya

Me- Yes Randy Bhai. Uske liye sabse badee qualification hai- juntna se empathy, logon ke dukh dard ko mehsoos karna aur unki madad karne ke irade se govern karna.

Gyani Singh/Izzat Khan and Randy Bhai all nodded in Unison.

Dekho baton baton me ‘kya hona chahiye’ ye to clear ho gaya. Is tarah se socho to Politics ya fir duniya ka koi bhi kaam bura nahee- agar uske root me sabki bhalai aur mohabbat ka zazba ho – Gyani Singh muttered.

It was getting late. I still hadn’t fully unpacked and settled back from my sojourn to the hills and this innocuous discussion had simultaneously become heavy, insightful and inspiring.

I took leave from my ‘bhasad’ group of friends, wore my little backpack and started walking towards home. The sun was reddish, like a circular ball and appeared to be hanging low in the sky. I forgot my surrounding- the vastness of light blue sky with a round red ball of sun lay spread before me. All the problems of the world seemed to have dissolved in that silence, which had music of its own.

A Short Treatise on Tamma tamma logey tamma (तम्मा तम्मा लोगे तम्मा)

If the above title sounds as some kind of ad jingle and ‘tamma’ (तम्मा) appears to be a FMCG product - you are not alone. With such catchy tune, it is difficult to resist its appeal.

So what is tamma? Is it a promise of achhe din which shall come some(?) day? Or is it a new gadget offered in bumper discount  on those e-commerce sites ? Or is it some kind of chumma¹ which was supposed to be given on the day of previous Jummah²?

Unless we track down the creators of this great tamma tamma , it is difficult to say for sure- what is tamma? However, that shouldn’t stop us from hazarding a guess. We don’t have paucity of time really and this shall be much needed break from that WhatsApp chat group.

Prima facie tamma looks like a hard nut to crack. It needs nothing less than dialectical analysis (whatever that is) and being no Marxist scholar, I leave it to you and your leftist friends to figure that out. That takes us to economic study of tamma. Could tamma be harbinger of the next stock rally? Or it is a new name of demonizing errrrr demonetizing effort by the Govt? Tamma might be a new concept in game theory where it is eventually a zero sum game i.e. it is either your tamma or mine; both of us cann’t have our tammas at the same time.

What fun is tamma if we cann’t have it together? We, therefore, need to understand its plausible socio-political ramifications. Is it that elusive tool which could carry out social engineering and cut at the hidden roots of social inequality? We can be sure that tamma wouldn’t see light of the day and would be crushed to death by our political class. After all, what business they would’ve if tamma business gets established? Would it be revolutionary and unbelieving if tamma is the secret symbol of a political party in making which would have internal democracy before it plans to govern the democratic republic of India?

Delving deeper, is tamma logey a call to spiritual awakening? Like that maverick sage Kabir exhorted – ‘ Santo Bhai, aai gyan ki aandhi re, bhram ki tanti sabai udani, maya rahe na bandhi re(संतो भाई! आई ज्ञान की आंधी रे, भ्रम की तांती सबै उड़ानी, माया रहै न बंधी रे)’³ ; it could be possible that a realized one is singing tamma tamma logey to jolt us from the deep slumber we are immersed in:

Why do you fret –O anxious mind?

Don’t project now into future,

The future is created one moment at a time,

Just like tamma carries meanings sublime

As it seems, identifying tamma is not an easy task and the millennials don’t have enough attention span to focus any more on this tamma wamma. What we can do instead is to visualize the music of the following tamma rap. Let the most rocking of Baba sehgal, Honey or Badshah sing it. We shall meditate on the awesomeness of tamma- in whichever form it is;

Tamma tamma tamma, (तम्मा तम्मा तम्मा )

Ye kya hai gorakhdhandha, (ये क्या है गोरखधंधा)

Mere baap ka nahi, tere baap ka nahi,(मेरे बाप का नहीं, तेरे बाप का नहीं)

To kiska hai ye munda, (तो किसका है ये मुंडा)

Jahan se bhi aaya ho, jo bhi ise laya ho,(जहाँ से भी आया हो, जो भी इसे लाया हो)

Mauka sahi hai ye, dhokha nahi hai ye, (मौका सही है ये, धोखा नहीं है ये)

Offer ka ise maal samajh ke, (ऑफर का इसे माल समझ के)

1+1 ka plan samajh ke, (1+1 का प्लान समझ के)

Le lo tum bhi tamma, le lo tamma tamma! (ले लो तुम भी तम्मा, ले लो तम्मा तम्मा)

(Here is the link to the song

https://youtu.be/SK5FdvcLaY0

Put on your ear phone, raise the volume and get lost in it)

Note:

·   Chumma¹ – Kiss

·   Jummah² – Friday, when muslims offer prayer of Jummah

·   Santo bhai…³ – O fellow saints! There is gale of light and knowledge. Now, the cottage of ignorance has been dismantled gone away and temptation and attachment no longer trap me) 

Loneliness

It is sometimes difficult to experience the feelings which crop up inside. You don’t even recognize what is curling within your heart. How can it be expressed then? It must nevertheless be said; if not to others, then to oneself.

It’s been going on for many years. They would meet occasionally over a cup of coffee or for a theatre show. They would look at each other and talk, exploring their own certainties about each other.

‘What do you plan to do then?’  He asked

‘I haven’t thought about it. Just that it’s not great. I am doing it as a stop gap arrangement to accomplish something tangible.’ She told about her new job which was about setting up the entire retail infrastructure of a fashion brand

‘You are nowhere satisfied. Earlier you had problem with your advisory job that it was all airy stuff discordant with reality. Now, you are in thick of the action and still you crib’.

It was disconcerting to hear that. He always did it. If she looked at him, he was probably doing worse than her. His credentials could nowhere match that of hers. But the way he presented it, his failures also sounded as if those were part of his bigger game plan.

Is she too straightforward and honest? Can everything be dubbed as success or failure by awarding marks between 1 and 100? Anything comes at a cost. You don’t get your perfect world anywhere. What’s wrong to feel bad about something which is not right for you? Isn’t it proper to aspire for the state where you are free to be fully creative?

‘I might try my hands at entrepreneurship. I am thinking strongly about it’ she uttered

They were sitting outside a small restaurant beside a highway. Let’s order something- she suggested and got up to place order.

What would you take?  

‘Nothing’

‘Are you sure? – she asked’

He half smiled, nodded in negative and watched her getting up.She went inside the restaurant to the counter and placed the order. 

He smiled wryly and tilting his head to left as if to gain a posture of higher expertise and asked  – ‘What exactly do you plan to do? Have you made a business plan?’

‘To be frank – No! Some potential ideas are there but each has its own risks, resource requirements and returns’. She went on describing couple of ideas, their merits, her vision and her apprehensions about being able to gather enough resources. He was still ensconced in that posture and was piercingly looking at her- probably to see her burst her own balloon of plans.

Why she used to do that? It always appeared as if she was explaining and defending herself. Was she too risk averse? Was she too self critical? Was she always trying to prove herself to him?

It was difficult to analyze these things howsoever self critical she tried to be. She nevertheless pondered over their meeting; what he said, how he said, how he reacted? She reflected on her short comings. She had gained weight. She needed to work on her wardrobe. She had to become more assertive; probably more flamboyant like those other girls. How those girls acted which made guys turn and give another look to them? Was it their physical beauty, inner glow or some psychological charm- trick they played?

He had a change of mind. He too wished to have a cup of coffee and ordered it. 

There was an awkward silence. She poured one sachet of brown sugar into her coffee and stirred it without looking at him. She was kind of alone even when sitting here with him. She felt the warmth of the cup by holding it from the sides and took one sip. It sent a fresh wave of energy to her presence.

‘Yes, it’s not easy’, she said self reflectively. She wanted to ask what had been going on in his life. He had started an e-commerce company with few friends. Did he have a long term plan or was he floating on the wave of herd behaviour.    

‘So how is it going with you? When are you launching it?

‘We are working on the supply chain and have recruited some developers for the website. In next 3 months we should go live.’ He said it in his usual confident manner but deep within- it lacked conviction. She could sense it in the air around them. However, his nonchalant way of expression shut her up.

In midst of all this conversation, she was scanning for that click, that comfort and the chemistry to strike. There was tension but it lacked the spark.

They had finished their coffee. She felt as if he had been gazing at her. She too looked him into the eye, to explore something intense.

She was intrigued. She wanted to be sure of them; him and her. Every meeting was supposed to somehow nudge them towards a destination. It however, turned out to be a random wandering.

How have you come? Shall I drop you? He asked

‘No, thanks! I have parked my car in the basement.’ She smiled at him. He flashed a smile too. They bid good bye to each other. It could’ve been warmer.

She started her car, paid the money to the parking guy and drove out. The radio was on. There was a song by lataji ‘agar mujhse mohabbat hai, mujhe sab apne gham de do ..’. She raised the volume. The traffic was orderly and smooth.

Suddenly there was intense build up of feelings and tears started rolling down her cheek. The moving car, the passing vehicles, the standing trees - everything was flowing with that music.

She said to herself – ‘Loneliness is just a feeling’.

A Peek Through Window

He was gazing at the dilapidated building across the flyover through his 5^th floor window. Perhaps decades ago, this would’ve been the bustling Haweli; now in shambles. Among the quietness of its symmetrical piers and the aloofness of its structure; he tried to picture herself with him. How would she look in a traditional Indian dress?  

Jai walked frenetically into his room disturbing his reverie. He asked for his laptop and without looking at him logged himself into Facebook.

What happened to your lappy? And don’t you see I am working?

My lappy is hung and you need a break – ‘Jai’ retorted satirically.

He saw him liking pics, updates and quotes without even reading those. Yaar ye kya? Bina padhe hi tu like mare ja raha hai?

‘Bhai! Saare updates bandiyon ke hain; samajh me aaye, na aaye, achhi ho ya bakwas- Like marna padta hai. Aise hi nahin pat jatin bandiyan’ – Jai said

Hmmm! So this is the secret of your array of female friends? He sighed and just watched ‘Jai’ do all those stuff deftly. He wondered whether he would ever be able to pull this off with such aplomb.

‘Quit playin games with my heart’ ringtone… ..  ‘Heyyyy, Hie- How d’ya?’ putting on his ‘hands free’ Jai walked out of the room.

He was bit startled by Jai’s Dhamaka entry. Jai was his colleague in his engineering company. They used to share the apartment. Despite his occasional rashness, ‘Jai’ was a nice person and a buddy. He went to the window of his room and looked outside. Among the mass of traffic on the flyover, bikes were moving - Guys with their girls. The envelope of excitement and fun in their movement struck him. He imagined himself riding that bike and ‘Anjali’ sitting behind. Was it possible? Could this ever happen?

Only if there was a formula - dating morphed into a complex mathematical equation. He would’ve dived deep to solve it. But how to pierce through her heart - how even to approach this problem called girls.

Jai told him – Beedu!’ Unless you go and talk to girls, flirt with them,  Aasman se nahee tapkegi GF.

Not that he didn’t try but he was shy and added to that his fumbling approach did the disaster. Try to karta hoon yaar, but aise kisi se kya baat karne lagoon? I go and say ‘Hi’ to them with genuine smile. They sometimes ignore; sometimes respond with ‘Hi’ and then it peters out. Koi context to hona chahiye na baat karne ko.

You have to create the context dude! Why don’t you introduce yourself and tell them that you are from IIT? Intelligence is a big turn on for girls. They would fall for it – ‘Jai’ suggested.

How simple was it for ‘Jai’and his ilk? Where did they learn all of that?

Only if there were electives in IIT called love 101. He would’ve taken all the electives in that series. At least these courses were something having direct application in real life. And of course, one could totally relate to it.   

Yaar!!! (He said with slight pain in his voice) – This is not something to be bandied about. I cannot wear it on my sleeve.  

Bhai! Rehne de, tere se na hogi; Just keep on living in your idealistic ivory tower- ‘Jai’said irritatingly.

Was he rigid, idealistic, cut off from the zeitgeist? Or it was something else?

The fact is that IIT trains you in a craft, to be able to identify and solve the most difficult problems in that field. But that’s one part of life. Life is big – like ocean, with many dimensions. How can mastery in one dimension prepare you to sail through it? Each dimension, personal/professional, is to be tackled separately. One cannot make up for another.

It’s not about idealism dude. 

Jai –To fir kya hai? It’s your values, philosophy, fundah blah blah…

Bas mujhe odd lagta hai. I am from IIT – This has something to do with my professional life as a signaling factor in the job market. But, what it has to do with my dating life?  

Jai – The same thing which Swiss bank account has to do with black money or Taliban with world peace or 100 Cr film with good cinema . It’s pointless to argue with you. I am going for my guitar classes.       

He felt exhausted and dejected. It is better to go and take a stroll outside- he thought.

He got down and moved towards the little park outside. A child was carrying his little sister around in the pram while his mom talked on the phone. Some senior citizens were sitting discussing the politics of the day. A labor was resting after morning’s hard work. There was a swirling silence amidst the chitter chatter. It seemed that an Umbrella of light and warmth had been spread over the green lawns.

He looked at the marigold flowers glowing in the afternoon sun. He saw Anjali’s face in it – Her falling hair, her sweet dress and her pose. Tears came to his eyes. What was it? Why was he so helpless? He had come out into the open to run away from this coiled pain. And here it was – embedded into all the freshness around.

He felt the cool November wind swift through his body. He wanted to throw himself away – with the wind, into the light where she was hidden.