चिंतन

संगीत-एक अनन्य भावबोध!
यथार्थ की परिकल्पना या अंतर्मन की अनपहचानी वेदना,
रचना - शब्दों का क्रमचय -संचय, भावों की उधेड़बुन!
शब्दों का भाव पर अधिपत्य या,
भावों का शब्दों की भूमि पर उन्मुक्त प्रवाह,
स्मृति-एक पुरातन भावमय बिम्ब!
अतीत की पुनर्रचना या
वर्तमान की पीठिका पर भूत का प्रत्यावलोकन?

टूटना

टूटे हैं ,
लेकिन बने भी हैं हम,
भले ही वो बनना,
टूटकर जुड़ने की पुनर्प्रक्रिया क्यों न हो

संवेदनाएं

पीडा की बोझिलता या
अनुभूतियों की उलझी गाँठ
भावनाओं की व्यंजकता या
गलित होता स्व?
संवेदनाओं की दुरुह्ताओं का
आशय कोई कैसे समझे?

Separation

If you are gone, why should I live?

It is so repulsive that I could not even think of separation from you. I am scared.

Separated from you, I try to live in a reclusive exile from your memories, but in vain.

Perhaps you couldn't understand me or I couldn't express myself.

There was only this choking, suffocating scrupulous silence to keep us at distance.

Now you are gone without knowing that I kept on and on and on thinking about you and still do so.

And I am here without any desire-yet longing for your affection, without any hope-yet hoping to meet you one day, without any aspirations-yet aspiring to be your eternal lover.

Inspiration

O love! I love you,
Let my thoughts be pure and undisturbed,
let me be always attentive,
let me hold myself peacefully, effortlessly,

O beauty personified! Flow-
melt and flow,
let there be no restraint, no obstacle in the flow of such flow,

O innocence & piety!
why are you so sweet?
even anger, all aggression gets beautified under your charm,

Be always such, O sweetness!
be always so lovely, so capturing,
always inspiring to enthrall.

Helplessness

I didn't know that beauty had that power to capture (fearless-courageous) innocence, trust and enthusiasm altogether. So, when I perceived it, I remained mute! What else could I do? Though I wanted to be an active player, yet preferred to be a silent witness because it demanded a consciousness which should always be grounded in the self.

Thus, as pure, pious beautiful love shined, I could see its glow but not feel its warmth; could smell its fragrance but not touch it; could float over the surface but not drown in its ocean.

मंजिल

मेरी कश्ती थी मझधार में,
मंजिल का पता न था,
सर्द हवाओं के थपेडों ने,
जिस ओर धकेला मै चला गया,
ज़ुल्मत-ए-शब में दफातन
नूर दिखा तेरे चिराग-ए-दिल का,
दिल की कोयल ने मुझसे कहा,
तेरी मंजिल-ए-सहर यही है,
हवाएं भी रुख बदलेंगी,
नूर-ए-आफताब न हुआ तो क्या हुआ?
चिराग-ए-दिल तो जल गए!

अज्ञात सी तड़पन

मैंने कब कहा कि लौकिक प्रेम ही लक्ष्य है?
वह एकमात्र सत्य भी नहीं, वास्तविकता भी नहीं,
फिर इस अज्ञात सी तड़पन का प्रयोजन क्या है?
इश्क हबीबी निरा दीवानापन है? या इश्क हकीकी की प्रतिच्छाया?
जुस्तजू मुझे उस विशिष्ट प्रियतम की है,
या अपने ही अनजाने वजूद की ?
जो न जाने कहाँ कहाँ बिखरा पड़ा है!
यदि क्षड़ की वास्तविकता ही सत्य है?
तो क्या यह टीस,
अपना सा कुछ खो जाने का दर्द स्वप्न मात्र है?
कैसी अनबूझी पहेली है ये,
मेरी ज़िन्दगी,
इससे ज्यादा और मै सह नहीं सकता,
क्या कहूं?
अब और कुछ कह नहीं सकता,
मेरा निजी सत्य तो यही है,
ऐ मेरी कोयल,
तेरे बिन अब मै जी नहीं सकता

Knot

You are there
In all the beauty which unnerves me,
You are the laughter and the pain of dazzle of proximity,
Love! you are intelligence personified,
O koyal, I am tied and twisted in this unbreakable bond,
Who else but you would free me by
Tying the life long knot.

Charm

It is tough not to complain
When you get hurt,
What to do? When the pain is so diffused inside you
And the source of the pain so beautiful and charming.

Colours were colourful when,
The sweetness of your being enveloped it,
It was light! It was strength!
It was all which could cripple me in mesmerization.

It is tough to acknowledge that beauty could be so cruel,
How could I forget you,
When the pain of your memory is an indivisible part of myself.

It is tough not to be dazzled by
All of what you are,
To not to desire you is to deny oneself one’s existence,
How would I live? O nature’s mystery!
Am I living? Or this is what is called death?
When I love it, all of it- deeply, madly, shyly
And yet am unable to even look at the fullness of its charm?

कौन हो तुम?

तुम एक सिहरन, एक अनुभूति, एक दीप्ति हो,
तुम्हारी याद श्वासों में विलयित मेरे अस्तित्व का अभिन्न अंग,
तुम्हारी गुंजायमान कुसुमित हंसी मेरे मन का मधुर संगीत,
तुम्हारी अदायगी,एक जादूगरनी का चुम्बकीय सम्मोहन
तुम एक मानवी हो, एक कृति या जीवनी शक्ति?
सर्वत्र विद्यमान, प्रकाशमान, गतिमान तुम्हारा सौंदर्य,
क्या सूर्य तुम्हारे ही तेज से आलोकित है?
क्या चाँद तुम्हारी ही शीतलता से सिक्त है?
कितना अभिभूत और असहाय हूँ मैं तुम्हारी,
इस आकर्षक, ओजस्वित, रागमय सौंदर्य के सम्मुख
ऐ प्रिय - अधुरा हूँ मै तुम बिन,
परन्तु भावों के उधेड़बुन में किन्कर्त्व्यविमूध मै,
तुम्हारा आलिंगन करू? या तुम्हारा वंदन?

Smile

If one smile can enliven my hope of life, why not preserve it and keep on getting food of life that is love from it. Why not store the remembrances of glistening presence of your momentary existence (in my life). How much stress, how much pressure is there in dwindling back and forth between the passion of living in the surrounding of your exuberance with all its freshness and warmth and the silence of solemnity of this pacifying love that radiates and flows smoothly ever from your being.

Loss

You have gone out of my life and here I am struggling to live without your fragrance. Though your presence presents itself in so many forms yet, I am unable to capture the whole you- that is the essence of my being. In so often pity moments of my life I seek the meaning and reason of living and you not so often soothe me by your flashing existence. I am dazzled not by my weary existence, not by your momentary presence, but by this hiatus between being and not being which is so breaking, so lingering that it continuously kills me bit by bit.

Expression

You think otherwise if the love that I myself cannot comprehend, expresses itself in Bizarre ways. How can one utter love? Still fear of not being loved tears me. I don't know how to reveal the difference between what it is and what it appears to be. Each and every drop of my blood carries your love. Engulf me love, I am too fragile to be left in lurch.

Your Presence

Stillness- of wildness of nature,
I am sitting in its lap,
Yet untouched by its seducing charm
A wave comes and instigates the memory of you, the lady,
I am pained by the sweetness of this beautiful remembrance
The leaves sparkle in the light of the gold,
Is it the Sun or light of your presence?
The golden greenery adorns the surface of silvery water,
The currents in the lake dancing slowly and shamelessly,
Soothe the tired bones of my psyche,
Is it the calmness of lake or the relaxation of your presence?
I am energized, shaken and dazzled,
Is it the reality or mere my perception?
That whatever worthwhile and meaningful is there in this world,
Is explained and given life to,
Only by your beautiful presence.