जन्म-दिवस

वह मिला मुझे गली के उस मोड़ पर,

थोडा व्यग्र, थोडा निराश,

देख उसे सोचा मैंने,

क्यूँ पडूं इन चक्करों में?

मेरी खुद की दशा क्या बेहतर है?

किन्तु पता नहीं क्या था उसकी दृष्टि में,

मैं जाते जाते ठहरा और पूछा,

भाई! कोई help चाहिए ?

देखा उसने,

पर बोला नहीं कुछ,

और फिर बोल पड़ा,

अच्छा सुनो! बैठोगे थोड़ी देर ?

बड़ी थकान लग रही है|

थका तो मैं भी था,

पता नहीं किस वजह से?

बैठ गया,

हम दोनों आश्चर्यजनक तरीके से चुप रहे-बैठे रहे,

धीरे से उसने कहा,

आज मेरा जन्म-दिवस है,

और मुझे न जाने क्यूँ इस दिन बड़ी प्यास लगती है,

“Happy b’day to you” -मैंने हाथ बढ़ाते हुए कहा|

मौन रहते हुए ही उसने स्वीकार की मेरी शुभकामना,

उसकी प्रतिक्रिया-विहिनता पर,

मैं सोचने को विवश था|

रास्ता भूल गया हूँ मैं,

कहाँ जाना है आखिर ये भी पता नहीं,

रूक जाऊं तो कहीं छूट न जाऊं,

इसी डर से चलता जाता हूँ,

हर साल जब लोग मुझे इसी दिन बधाई देते हैं,

मेरी थकान बढ़ जाती है,

और मिथ्या की इस मरीचिका से न बुझने वाली,

मेरी प्यास और विकल हो जाती है,

ये कहते-कहते वह रो पड़ा,

उसके रुदन में उसके पूरे वजूद की पीड़ा का दर्द था,

अजीब सी ही थी उसकी आवाज़,

जिसमें मुझे स्वयं की,

और न जाने कितने ही आवाज़ों की गूँज सुनायी दी|

थोड़ी देर हम चुप रहे,

फिर उसी वेदना-पूरित स्वर में उसने क्रंदन किया,

ऐसी सस्ती ज़िन्दगी का क्या मतलब यार?

मेरी थकान और प्यास को भी,

कुछ दिशा मिल रही थी,

कुछ टटोल रहा था मैं भी,

और अचानक आंसू छलक पड़े,

उसने छू दिया था अस्तित्व-सितार का वो तार,

जो पता नहीं कब से झंकृत ही नहीं हुआ था,

यद्यपि प्रति-वर्ष इस सितार की विधिवत पूजा होती है,

मिठाइयों और बधाइयों के साथ|

मैंने उसकी तरफ देखा,

और एक चांटा जड़ दिया,

वह उसी तरह शुष्क और मौन ही रहा,

मैंने कहा,

अरे यार!

बदले में मार तो देते,

मुझे अभी ठीक से रोना था,

धुलना चाहता हूँ मैं|

पता ही नहीं चला,

करीब घंटा गुजर गया था,

दुनिया की दौड़ की पुकार को,

अनदेखा कर,

हम बैठे रहे,

हम दोनों ही अब,

न जाने क्यूँ,

सहज और हल्का महसूस कर रहे थे|

जानते हो?

इस डर से इतना डरने की ज़रुरत नहीं,

हाँ- डर तो लगता है,

क्यूंकि पता नहीं जाना कहाँ है,

जहाँ सभी जा रहे हों,

वही सही रास्ता हो – ज़रूरी तो नहीं,

और क्या बाकियों को पता है,

कि जाना कहाँ है और क्यूँ?

पर जाना तो पड़ेगा ही

यहाँ नहीं तो वहाँ,

निकल कर ही तो ज्ञात होगा,

कि रास्ते में क्या है?

ये हर पड़ाव पर पहुँचने का दर्द,

और पहुँच जाने की विशिष्टता,

इन समस्त जय-पराजय, हर्ष-विषाद की अनुभूतियों का समुच्चय ही,

क्या पता गंतव्य हो?

या फिर न हो,

कुछ भी न हो,

किन्तु खोजकर ही पता चलेगा ना,

कि अनुसंधानार्थ कुछ है भी या नहीं?

तो फिर? मैंने प्रश्न किया,

यह भ्रमण, यह अन्वेषण की प्रक्रिया ही है जीवन?

हाँ!,

अब फिर से wish करोगे मुझे?

एक और साल का तोहफा मुबारक मित्र!

समय के इस उपहार से,

तुम अंतर-वाह्य के रहस्यों का उद्घाटन कर सको,

मेरी शुभकामनाएं!

वो मुस्कुराया,

और मौन ही रहा,

हम कुछ देर आराम से बैठे रहे,

और फिर अपने-अपने रास्ते चल दिए|

अव्यक्त कविता

मैं चला जाऊंगा एक दिन मगर,

कवितायेँ मेरी बोलेंगी,
करेंगी उद्घाटन मेरे मन-रहस्य का,

जो थी तीक्ष्ण तड़पन तुम्हें पाने की,

वो चाह उन पंक्तियों में तुम्हें टटोलेगी|

लेकिन है कहाँ वो कविता?

जिसमे गुथे हों,

वो भाव, वो शब्द, वो अनिर्वचनीय वेदना,

जो तुम्हारे प्रति,

मेरे प्रेम की भव्यता का द्योतक हो|

अच्छा सुनो तो,

अनिवार्य है कि कविता केवल शब्दों में विद्यमान हो?

तुम्हारी उपस्थिति में,

मेरे सुध-बुध खो जाने की प्रक्रिया,

क्या कविता नहीं है?

तुम्हारी आवाज़ की खनक,

सरगम में पिरोई रागिनी की मधुरता लिए,

जब मुझे तुम्हारे सरस मोह-पाश में,

बिद्ध कर लेती है,

क्या वो कविता नहीं है?

रूठ जाने पर वो तुम्हारा मुखावेश,

और मेरे अंतर्मन में संचारित भावों का उधेड़बुन,

तद्जनित भयमिश्रित प्रेम के रोमांच से,

मेरा कुछ कहते हुए भी न कह पाना,

क्या कविता नहीं है?

अब बताओ ज़रा!

क्या आसान है -इन सबको शब्दों में बटोरना और व्यक्त करना?

और मैं क्यूँ ही रचूँ कविता?

जब तुम्हारे स्मरण मात्र से ही,

मैं स्वयं कविता बन जाता हूँ|

Eyes of Heaven

It was a summer’s day,

When I saw you in your flowering beauty,

I wondered!

Whether the dress adorned you or you adorned the dress?

I wished I could say something,

Could greet you, could praise you,

All I could do was,

To watch you silently and in awe,

I hope these lines would convey all I wanted to say,

The depth, the intensity, the passion and the vastness

Of that love,

Which resides in my heart and

Waiting for your touch to seal it and join for eternity,

A bond- where none of us would possess each other,

But would intertwine each other,

To explore in depth and drink from the source of creation,

We shall not let anything worldly to sully this union,

A union made out of concoction of,

No expectation, no judgment, no guilt and no shame,

We shall thus,

Set each other free,

Carrying that sacred love inside,

We shall watch and care for each other,

Through eyes of heaven!

Your Smile

Your smile bewilders me,
It is not of this earth,
It seems to be powered by that invisible force,
Which eludes,
Even the celestial Gods

That pose, that curve of your body,
The hairs,
Touching the blossomed cheeks,
And acting as the guards of that precious smile,
It all bewitches me

Those rounded ripe protrusions,
Are the fruits of your youth tree,
Filled with the vines of never ending passion,
These treasures,
Adorn the garden of my life

You have enraptured me,
Making me prisoner of your charm,
I am so captivated,
Don't ever want,
To break the threads of this knot

Wait

I have waited years for this moment,

Which seems to have arrived just like that,

I have pained for it all along,

Which appears to have accidentally happened,

It’s the gift of all that toil,

Or perhaps my readiness to be worthy of this moment,

Whatever it is,

It is profoundly beautiful

Your voice, your touch, your smile,

Nothing has ever melted me like this,

I become a child in your presence,

Totally unarmed & totally naked,

I wonder why you caress me like that,

It vaporizes all my troubles,

And touches the nerves,

Which takes me to a different world

The world around had disappeared,

When we were together,

You were the center of the Universe,

And that’s all that was there,

Your grace, your simplicity, your composure,

Enveloped my entire being,

These were the stuff,

Which defined the word ‘beauty’

Are you startled by my mesmerization ?

Are you amazed at your flowering ?

Which is nourished by my words and gaze?

I too am unable to name this magic,

That has gripped us in its fold,

I can only feel and say,

You are the answer to soul’s cry,

You are the divinity personified

O God! Take care of her,

Take care of her for me,

She is very delicate,

And she should be handled like this,

I should be her armour,

In all her troubles,

And no trouble should dare,

To torment her ever

Touch

You have touched me,

How did it happen?

Seems that our meeting was preordained,

We had to meet,

To liberate each other.

We were drawn to our own destruction,

Which was death of past with its toxicities,

We had to kindle each other’s spark,

To light this fire,

Of unwavering passion

We burned together,

There was indescribable joy in that immolation,

Words had lost its meanings,

There were only our collective moans,

Cause that’s what could be said at all

Your mere presence shook me,

And you were shaken too,

We were transported to a different plane,

It was our divine upliftment,

To a beautiful new world

A world created by you & me,

Without judging,

We reinvented each other,

To break free from the shackles of,

Social approval & morality,

This is a special gift,

That we have given to each other,

I cherish it, I cherish you,

Your existence is proof of,

Any goodness that is there in this world

It's a responsibility,

To preserve this gift of our bond,

I shall be vulnerable yet patient,

To explore this endless treasure,

Which you get when you lose yourself

दो शब्द

दो शब्द,

तुम और मैं,

और इन दोनों के मध्य सिमटा,

एक वृहत, स्वप्निल संसार|

अनकही बातें, घनीभूत पीड़ा,

अनछुआ स्पर्श – तुम्हारे होने का,

और ऐसे कितने सपने,

जो देखे ही नहीं गए,

उन सपनों के भविष्य से वर्तमान होने की चाह में,

जिए जा रहा हूँ|

तुम भी तो अछूती नहीं होगी,

इस अदृश्य  भाव-तरंग से,

फिर क्यूँ न बह जाने दिया स्वयं को?

क्या तुम्हें ज्ञात नहीं था कि,

अव्यक्त प्रेम की उच्छल तरंगों में अन्तर्निहित,

जिम्मेदारी और भरोसे की शिला का आधार होता है?

न जाने क्यूँ भटक गए हम,

संशय और भय की आंधी से,

विश्वास है मुझे,

हमारा मिलन घुमड़ते हुए आशंकाओं के सारे बवंडरों को ,

शमित कर देता|

तुम और मैं,

दूर भले ही हों,

समाप्त नहीं हैं,

तुम और मैं,

जीवन की गाथा हैं,

जिसकी परिणति हम सब के लिए,

सुखद होगी|

बड़े दिनों के बाद - A Short Story

18^th July, 2018                                                                                                                        Bhasad Patrakar, Newsdesk

                                                                                                             

Friends! If you have been missing this bhasad patrakar and his bhasad varta, believe me! I have been missing you too. Sach mein!. I missed Randy bhai and my entire bhasad gang. Suffice to say, I was away for some vacation in the hills to escape scorching heat of Delhi and to get some fresh air. Back to my place, I unpacked as much I could and rested a bit. I then decided to go to Randy Bhai’s shop to connect with the bhasad mandali & get updated about the recent happenings of importance.

Randy Bhai -  Are aao lalla aao, kahan the itne din? Hum to soche ki tum India chhod diya. Patrakar babu!, har jagah system kamobesh aisa hi hai. System ko chalane wale to insaan hi hote hain aur insaan sab jagah ek jaisa hi hai- desh ho ya videsh.

Me – Are kaisi baat karte hain aap Randy Bhai. Aap logon ko chhod ke main kahan jaunga? Ye apnapan, aisi mohabbat aur kahan milegi bhai?

Randy Bhai – Are are! Ab sentiyao nahee. Aur batao kya loge? Ruko, kuchh jhakas khilata hoon.

Randy Bhai asked chhote to bring some jalebi with rabri. Soon, Gyani Singh and Izzat Khan too arrived. Now the quorum was there to start bhasad meeting. We greeted each other through smile only. Nobody talked as there was this lingering expectation for Randy Bhai’s order. Everybody wanted to relish this delicacy with complete focus- devouring every ounce of its sweetness and replacing all the bitterness that comes to us in pollution of body and mind.

Randy Bhai – Patrakar babu! sach puchho to hamara bhi dil karta hai ki ye dhandhe pani ka bhasad, ye duniyadari, ye mashaqqat chhod ke kahin door pahadon mein seedha, saral ‘without showoff’ wala jeevan vyateet karoon. Lekin pata nahee kaisi ankahi mazboori hai? Ye prapanch chhotata hi nahee. Koi chhipa hua dar hai, jo hamein jakde rakhta hai.

Gyani Singh – Are Randy Bhai, itne Philosophical kyun ho gaye? Sanyas mat lena Praji

Izzat Khan – Randy Bhai aapko ab shayari karni chahiye. Shayar banne ke liye pehli shart ye hai ki aap cheezon ko shiddat  se mehsoos karein - Joki aap kar rahe ho

Gyani Singh – Are Izzat Bhai, inko shayar banana hai to banao. Lekin mai to kehta hoon ki Randy Bhai jaise logon ki zaroorat politics me hai. Jaise wo hamare kavi politician Atal ji the. Politics itni manipulative and PR driven ho gyi hai. Itni fake marketing to Ad agency wale bhi nhi karte jitna aajkal political parties karti hain. Kya kehte ho Patrakar bro?

Me – Ab kya bolun yaar Gyani. Ye samajh me nahee aata ki politics ka corporatization hua hai ya corporates ka politicization. Ya fir ye hamesha se aisa hi tha bas hum log hi politics me social service and corporates me professionalism dhoondhte the.

Izzat Khan – Kahin aap wo ranking for ‘Institutes of Importance’ ki baat to nai kar rahe bhaijan?

Me – kuchh aisa hi samajh lo Izzat miyan. Yaad hai wo apne mohalle ke ‘Kammo’ & ‘Catty’ kitne intelligent the. Ek IIT Kanpur gaya tha to doosra IIT Madras. Aur in dono institutes ka naam hi nahee top 10 me. DU/JNU/Indian Statistical Institute/ TIFR/AIIMS ye sab kahin featured hi nahee ranking me.

Izzat Khan - ‘Jio’ aur ‘Jeene do’ ka koi deal chal raha shayad.

Me – Gyani ji sahee kehte hain, ideally Randy bhai jaise saaf dil wale log hi politics me chahiye. But aise log survive kahan kar pate hain? aise logon ko na to corporates me promotion milta hai, na hi politics me ticket.

Gyani Singh – Praji, ye education se bhi kya ho jata? Aajkal to most politicians and C suites sab well educated hain, to Governance me kya improvement hua? Koi Harvard ka hai to koi IIT, koi DU ka hai- lekin politics abhi bhi usi tarike ki hoti hai; Hindu-Muslim, Swadeshi-Videshi, Caste/Class/Language divide is what happens.

Izzat Khan – Achha Bhai ye batao ki agar choice hoti to kya zaruri hai ki Randy Bhai Hindu, Gyani Singh Sikh and mai ek Muslim hi banta? Are hamare ma baap jis religion ke the, humara bhi wohi religion ho gaya. Aur fir bachpan se wo festivals, rituals ye aapki zindagi ke part ban jate hain, aur fir ise chhodna mushkil ho jata hai.

Izzat Khan had said a profound thing. Many of us are quite rational and scientific but still practice our religious rituals – why? Because it gives us a thing to ‘do’ - something to indulge in away from our official occupation, and is a tool for social get together and bonding.

Randy Bhai – Bhaiyon! thand rakho. Hindustan ke nagrik hain hum. Sabko apna religion/language/culture follow karne ki poorn swatrantata hai. Fir ye religion chhodne ki baat kyu ho rahee hai? Are Durga Pooja/Holi/Baisakhi/Id/Christmas – inhi sabke bahane to shopping hoti hai, business chalte hain, bachhon ko chhutti milti aur excitement rehti hai. Bhai maza aata hai.

Gyani Singh – Randy Bhai. Aap tension na lo. Hum saree shopping aapki dukaan se karte rahe hain aur karte rahenge.

We all laughed.

Izzat Khan – Gyani bhai ki baat me dum laga mujhe. Aap hi dekho- hamare gharon me pehle jo buzurg hote the- kitni padhai ki hoti thi un logon ne. Lekin vilayat me padhe lawyer mamu/engineer abbu/doctor aunty- matlab ki poore ghar ke jitney bhi tees mar khan log the, sab unka hi faisla mante the.

Gyani Singh- Ekdum bhai, ekdum. Lekin aisa to shayad respect ki wajah se hota hoga.

Izzat Khan – Respect to tha hi Gyani bhai. But wo respect kyun tha? Ye modern education se labrez log kyun unke logic and faisle ko man lete the? Kuchh aur bhi wajah hogi.

Me – Shayad in kabil logon ko lagta hoga ki ye buzurg partiality nahee karenge. Unke dilon me poore family ki welfare hoti thi. Sabke liye mohabbat thi, concern tha. Unka ye love and compassion modern education ki fancy degrees pe bhari padta tha.

Randy Bhai – Shayad ye hi karan raha hoga ki hamare samvidhaan nirmataaon ne MP/MLA banne ke liye koi educational qualification tai nahee kiya

Me- Yes Randy Bhai. Uske liye sabse badee qualification hai- juntna se empathy, logon ke dukh dard ko mehsoos karna aur unki madad karne ke irade se govern karna.

Gyani Singh/Izzat Khan and Randy Bhai all nodded in Unison.

Dekho baton baton me ‘kya hona chahiye’ ye to clear ho gaya. Is tarah se socho to Politics ya fir duniya ka koi bhi kaam bura nahee- agar uske root me sabki bhalai aur mohabbat ka zazba ho – Gyani Singh muttered.

It was getting late. I still hadn’t fully unpacked and settled back from my sojourn to the hills and this innocuous discussion had simultaneously become heavy, insightful and inspiring.

I took leave from my ‘bhasad’ group of friends, wore my little backpack and started walking towards home. The sun was reddish, like a circular ball and appeared to be hanging low in the sky. I forgot my surrounding- the vastness of light blue sky with a round red ball of sun lay spread before me. All the problems of the world seemed to have dissolved in that silence, which had music of its own.

Sensuous Current

Don't you see a fellow bystander there?

Enveloped by the smoky silence,

Engulfed by the sensuous currents,

Of your hazy cold presence,

Creating waves of heat and light within,

She hesitates to open herself,

Afraid!

That the mighty, stormy wind outside,

Carrying with it the baggage of tradition and morality,

Might sweep,

And leave her stranded deep in tide,

But if you see in that little cottage,

Situated in the corner of her heart,

You would find solace there and,

An equal zeal to burn,

In the fire of passion

A passion to burn together,

By igniting each other's fire,

And quenching it and fueling it again,

Till both are consumed in that fire,

Crying, laughing, living and dying,

To be born again

Quest

In the quest to find you,

I have travelled far and wide,

And searched within,

Unpacking my doubts, facing my insecurities,

Have questioned myself again and again,

Do I deserve you?

I was unsure of this intensity,

Was it love or mere infatuation?

I was unsure of this pain even,

Were these pangs of love?

Or mere chemical interplay of hormones?

Confident of my worth,

Reassured of my feelings,

I marched ahead with you as my goal,

Could you not see?

That hidden love tucked in my heart,

Gleaming transparently through my eyes?

I feel tired now,

With no end in sight,

Weary of this journey,

I wonder,

Whether this is a road of perdition,

Or road to self - discovery?