When the wind is against me

When the wind is against me,
I feel the pain, but i don't want wind to be as per my whims,
let it blow wherever it blows,
blessed are they who don't writhe in pain,
the nature hates me, my own people hate me,
I won't say anything,
let this pain crush me.

Life has been full of excruciating pain,
i could never really know,
what i wanted,
what is the use of rain when the crops are ripe?

I could never give happiness to others,
they were my own people,
they wanted a simple happy life,
i didn't know what to want.
I gave them my pain,
they could never love me for that.

This too is gone,
which has again torn me,
i am a playground for god's experiments,
played upon and upon.

Lucky are those,
who have got the flower,
the cuckoo, the love, the abundance of rainy shower,
they are blessed truly,
i am bound to think,
i never knew what to get,
but always missed what i didn't have